Recently a male acquaintance (who was previously referred to as friend until I discovered he is a sexist pig) posted a link to an article: You’ve Successfully Uploaded 40 Half Naked Photos, You’re Still Single But Your Friends Are Getting Married… Confused?
As an openly shameless selfie taker (who isn’t?), a female, single and a feminist, I couldn’t resist the urge to click it. What I read was not only appalling but was written by a woman. Being the opinionated feminist that I am, I would like to discuss and rebuke the ‘article’s’ oh-so-eloquently written points…
You Will Only Attract The Wrong Men
Dear Miranda, you should know that I, and I am sure the majority of women, do not post our ‘sexy selfies’ to attract a mate. Period. I do it for a laugh, because I find it fun and funny to pretend I am Beyonce, when I am clearly not. It’s a little mockery, intended to provide light and albeit rather pathetic humour. It is not meant to be received by anyone as a invitation to ask me out on a date! If I wanted a date I would be on e-harmony, not instagram.
You’re Aiming For “Sexy” But You Just Look Like A Slut – you haven’t made him work for it.
Well hot damn! I think before you start calling other women names, perhaps you should look at your (semi)professional picture used to promote your writing career…cleavage, sex eyes and pout; not quite the linkedin headshot you would imagine. Alas I digress, again I was not aware that by engaging in the instagram community, I was trying to attract and make a man work for ‘it’. Whilst I understand that men are visual creatures, can we please give them a little more credit? Most of the men I know do have the ability to look past physicality and evaluate a person based on personality. And hey, a little cheeky butt or side boob in your feed never hurt anyone.
You’re Not Playing It As Cool As You Think - When it comes to dating, men place women in one of 4 categories: 1. Wifey 2. Girlfriend 3. Casual Fun 4. Side Chick. If you don’t want to be classed as 3 or 4, stop uploading porn-star-esque shots of yourself.
Wow! Once again, I didn’t realise that men are so one-dimensional. Perhaps I should start dressing in beige pants, a nice blouse, sensible heels and a single string of pearls? I mean after all, it is my life goal to attract a husband and according to this, men like women who are no fun in or out of the bedroom.
N.B. If you don’t pick up on the sarcasm here, I do suggest you don such an outfit and play the role of a good wife.
The Dating Game Is Built On Double Standards. Here’s the thing, if a guy uploads 17 topless selfies of himself at the gym, he’s a catch. If a girl uploads 1 half-naked photo of herself, she’s easy. Don’t take it personally, it’s just the way of the world.
Oh, hell no! Firstly a guy uploads 17 topless selfies at the gym, he is NO catch, he is a douche. Or for a more politically correct term, a narcissist. Secondly, there is plenty of half naked photos in my stream. This does not make me easy! I am very happy with my body; I really don’t care if you see it and/or like it. It is after all, just my body, it certainly doesn’t define who I am. And furthermore, even if the above unbelievably sexist statement is true, why not work towards changing that thinking rather than promoting it?
By writing and promoting this article Miranda, you have not only successfully proven that misogyny is alive and well but you have also managed to degrade men in the process, no small feat. I am saddened by your article; especially because in your credits it states you hold a Masters in Broadcast Journalism. For someone so well educated and trying to carve a career in a male dominated media industry, it is a real shame you had to revert sexist stereotypes. It’s an even bigger shame that what your article tells me is that as a woman I have very little value to society unless I am a wife and my sole focus should be on finding a mate. Your article leave me pondering, perhaps I should give up things working, travelling, discovering who I am, having a personality and perhaps in my case working on developing my terrible sense of humour?